I Made a Decision

I've noticed a trend.
I've noticed it a lot.
People complaining.
People hating.
So much that makes my ears want to rot.

People saying what was done to them.
What they're gonna do back.
Revenge feels so justified,
When it comes from a place of…Lack.

Let's take a step back.
For Americans, bullying is at an epidemic level.
Name tags spelling "Victim"
Are sold out nationwide.

All shapes and sizes wear them.
They tend to be worn with pride.
Pathetic.

I've noticed something else.
The people that have had it the worst,
Those who have lost everything
And chose to live on and grow it all back.

Those are the ones silent and smirking.
They know what it is to be free.
They don't have to live a'lurking.
They've earned their own good opinion.
Something a lifestyle victim will never see.

This is our U.S. culture.
Full of Victims and Survivors.
Its easy to be a victim; its plain to see.
Someone else then bears the responsibility.

But when you stand on your own two feet.
You declare: I am Enough.
You risk dispersing the haze of excuses.
Turning the lights on the laziness of the weak do-nothings.
The 30-somethings still stuck on Mama's teat.

Authenticity frightens people.
Freedom comes with responsibility.
Its often easier to lay down
And remain a fucked sheep.

I'm not longer silent about my disdain
For the mockers, the cynics, the fault-finders.
That make up the majority population of NYC and this country.
My scarred heart is molten with rage.

For those too young too zoom out
And see a bigger picture.
Those for whom a week is a month
And a month a year.

Too many of these tykes
Learn our bad behavior.
They pummel others with words like bloodied needles.
Young souls butchered before they can even form.
Desperately they look for a savior.

Adults can ultimately change their lives at will.
But kids are rooted like trees,
For what feels like centuries.

No wonder then, that in recent years,
Hundreds of them pushed the eject button,
When they grew weary of crying gallons of unseen tears.

They're names written side by side,
Could blanket the walls, floor, and ceiling.
Ignored by a culture more concerned with appearances,
All they wanted was some love that would bring true healing.

I easily could have joined them in death.
I joined the Marines for just such a purpose.
But thank gods, I found my spirit's true Breath.
I made a decision.

Other's bitterness is not my problem, I said.
I am Enough, I said.
I am worthy of authentic Love, I said.
My legacy will not be one of derision.

Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and ages.
Fun fact: they all hate themselves
Trying so hard to bark and bite.
So they won't have time to flip through their own pages.

A long time ago I chose to look in the mirror,
A place often fraught with trauma.
And tell the strange motherfucker in that reflective space
That I loved them deeply.
I told them to their shiny little face.

With that done I now fear no one.
None can touch me.
Fact is, I was good enough the first time.
And with one choice I found,
Life can again truly be that sublime.